Enough tears to fill Puget Sound
Famous Dueces throughout history
Did you know that Sounders defender Zach Scott is from Haiku, Hawaii? Of course you didn’t. Why would you give a rat’s ass about a player who is a rat’s ass? What you care about is haikus and we have one for you:
Zach Scott we hate hate
hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
and hate hate and hate
We are contractually obligated to show this every time
Picture = 1,000 Words
His trespassing might be better than his passing these days
Multiple choice question. What has been the low point of Shalrie Joseph’s career?
C. Wearing the Fishing Village’s puke green colors
What the…hmmm….what the….yep….no words…
If at first you fail, try, try, again
A fitting nickname
I am sure there are many nicknames that Timber fans could come up with for Sounders goalkeeper Michael Gspurning, but since this is a family publication we will stick with the one that he was given while playing in Greece: Cerebus. In Greek mythology, Cerebus is a three-headed dog who guards the gates of the Underworld. In Greek mythology, the Underworld is described as: “a place where plastic customers are prompted by their overlords to cheer on disgraceful gladiators adorned in garb that is designed to burn the retina.”
Before there was the podd, there was The Pod
Pirates? Who doesn’t like pirates?
History. No wonder it was invented in 2009.
5mTKO Beer Endorsement of the Week
It is a derby weekend so it is time to step up our game. Instead of making just one beer endorsement this week, we are going with 15. There are 15 local breweries that have donated libations to make your #SeattleAway one in which you can tolerate the Fishing Village, the stench, and the 60,000 or so customers who exist simply to annoy you and to make you appreciate the fact you are not one of the 60,000 or so. Get your drink on in the bus and outside the gates and in your flasks. Don’t spend a fucking cent in that pointyball stadium. The only thing you should leave behind is a stinking heap of duece (preferably tucked away in Yedlin’s hair).
Need some more knowledge. Previous know thy enemy.